These are the rules: Navigating relationships within a language and cultural barrier.

I’ve lived in an environment where the language and culture are quite different from my own. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I’ve had to learn how to build and maintain relationships the hard way. I’ve let people get over on me because I was afraid to speak up, and I’ve fractured relationships because I didn’t know how to communicate effectively without offending someone’s culture. Not to mention, my Chinese skills aren’t always on one hunnid. So here are the top 5 reminders I use when I come into contact with people from a new culture.

• Try not to take everything that upsets you personally: Everyone is not out to get you, or make you look bad. People communicate differently across cultures, a miscommunication is bound to occur, try to avoid going directly to the negative option. That’s not to say that some people won’t try to screw you over, so it is important to step back and look at situations with a logical eye from time to time.
• Clarify: You may also be using a method of communication that your co-workers or friends are unaccustomed to. It is important to be clear about what you want or how you want it done. Your methods may not be the same as theirs and this could frustrate you to no end. So speak up about what you need.
• Be Sensitive: Speaking up about what you require does not mean disregarding others’ feelings. While making demands, keep a mental note of what your associates tolerate in their culture. It is possible to tell someone “You were wrong about this” without sounding like a colossal asshole. 
• Give suggestions: Don’t just point out someone’s wrongdoings without offering how they can improve or do something in a more effective way. It’s hurtful when someone completely disregards your efforts, so try your best to make it clear that you are trying to help: not trying to be a know-it-all. If my friends point out something I’ve mucked up, I expect them to also show me how to do a better job the next time around. Same goes for my co-workers.
• Ignore the need to be overly friendly: Some people are more friendly than others. I’m others. Being cordial and respectful is always ideal in a work setting, but many people start feeling uncomfortable when their co-workers start getting too personal. It’s not wrong to step away and make it clear that you are not comfortable with that. Also, pay attention to how your co-workers react when you come on too strong, inviting them out to social functions, getting into their personal space, discussing personal problems, etc. Don’t be the person that everyone avoids at the water cooler/coffee machine.

Those are the rules, feel free to add any to the list. Now, go out there and have fun. Try to build lasting relationships, but don’t discard the ones that are temporary, they still come with lessons.